DNA Vida Libre

I went to the doctor yesterday morning and got blood work done--nothing bad, just routine. But I don't like getting blood drawn; it brings back memories when I feel that familiar sting just like the Nine Inch Nail song Hurt. The phlebotomist took the needle out and wrapped my arm up. I left. Grabbed some coffee; my Friday treat and I headed off to work to kick ass. It was a none stopped day. My only self-care practices implemented was 1. deep breathing in between meetings and 2.  humor amongst my favorite group of coworkers.  3. my manager blew bubbles at me ❤️ I got home last night at 7pm (I left the house this morning at 6:45am). My kiddos strict bedtime routine starts at 730pm to be in bed by 8pm. Challenge night #2: went well. He fought a little but actually went to bed. 1 book was read and when he asked for a repeat I encouraged him to read it to himself. Since he doesn't know how to read yet, we made it a game to make up his own story by looking at the pict...

I lacked sleep today. I should know better.  I went to a highly intense job with little sleep and no partner in crime to use as a soundboard. When this happens--I cry. For no particular reason, I break down like when a toddler is tired but they cannot or will not go to sleep. I felt like giving up.  Self-Care Practices of the day:      1. I took deep breaths; 5 of them, while counting to 5 before                 exhaling. That got me to a relaxed state--more like light                   headed but it made the next step easier.      2. I closed my eyes and I repeated to myself (like a mantra): "just do what you can--you are enough" "Fuck the assholes. Fuck the assholes. Fuck the assholes." "I can do what I can and that is enough."       3. I re-read my to-do-list; picked one item to tackle. That was        ...

Self-Care Practice:    Let your loved ones love you!  Let them show you their ways of loving you and accept them.  Do not reject them or stop them.   Let them make you laugh when you are down.   Let them love you while you learn to love yourself again. Let them care for you while you learn to care for yourself again. Social Capital = your social network that is made of friends, family. Support network. Your village that you can rely on during tough times.    As I walked into work I admitted to myself that I had been moping around the office since my friend/partner in crime moved to a new role. I found it annoying that everyone kept checking up on me asking how I was doing, how I was hanging, what was I going to do or worse-- pointing out the obvious like "wow your office looks so empty since she left." I was dick. My responses were smart assery. And I probably made a few faces and rolled my eyes. I am not good at hiding my th...

Today was tough.  Mentally tough. Emotionally bleh.  I slept very little. At work by 7am and I must have sent about 100 emails by 10 am. I had a training to implement regarding policy to workers.  46 slides, 1 hour and we only got half way done. I felt like a shitty lead but mostly because I didn't plan well, keep track of time and I could not answer 2 questions. I know I am not a shitty lead, I am one of the best but its funny how lack of sleep can make it easier for negative thoughts, negative talk and self doubt creep into my daily routine. I broke a promise made to myself of taking a mental health day when I lack sleep because I tend to get emotional. Anyway, I just thought about all the upcoming changes in my life and how I need to be saving time. When I reached out to a teammate about the unanswered questions, I disclosed to him that I felt like a shitty lead. He laughed and stated that tends to happen--it is normal. I laughed as well and we made some more jokes...

Well yesterday we went on a quick trip to the river which then turned into a hike to the river. We found an awesome spot where I collected river rocks for the aesthetic eco-friendly look that I am trying to create in my backyard. My ZEN Zone. Who knew picking up rocks would be such a rewarding work out. Which then energized me to wake up at 430am. Stretch. Greet the rising sun with some semi-fancy yoga moves--I practiced my breathing skills BUT who knew breathing could be so hard to control when you are aware of your horrible breathing patterns?? lol. I felt like I couldn't suck more air in through my lungs and into my belly...something was not working right. The important thing is that I tried, I fumbled through my Yoga/stretch routine. Felt good. Which then prepared me for: The first day at work without my partner in crime. I missed her. A lot. But I survived. I kept to myself. Worked through the emotions which cannot be healthy but I did not want to put on a fake smile or...

Today was a day of moving. May the fourth be with you. Went to a "Build your own Lego Man" birthday party and then to an after party bounce house. To the park for a play date with my sponsor's grandson-I think it is amazing and challenging to see two 3 year old toddlers socialize ❤️ and then back to their house to continue playing. Needless to say--we didn't eat very healthy (jajaja), basically sugar on top of sugar with some water. This may not seem like a big deal to most people; however I have A LOT of social anxiety. Small gatherings I can do. Big gatherings or gatherings with people I don't really know--I avoid. Being more open about it with my friends and co-workers has actually helped. They understand when I "flake" on an event. But they also really really support and encourage me to attend. With a happy-go-lucky social kid, I don't really have a choice. I DON'T want him to be like me or his father--nervous and anxious around people. ...