DNA Vida Libre

I went to the doctor yesterday morning and got blood work done--nothing bad, just routine. But I don't like getting blood drawn; it brings back memories when I feel that familiar sting just like the Nine Inch Nail song Hurt. The phlebotomist took the needle out and wrapped my arm up. I left. Grabbed some coffee; my Friday treat and I headed off to work to kick ass. It was a none stopped day. My only self-care practices implemented was 1. deep breathing in between meetings and 2.  humor amongst my favorite group of coworkers.  3. my manager blew bubbles at me ❤️ I got home last night at 7pm (I left the house this morning at 6:45am). My kiddos strict bedtime routine starts at 730pm to be in bed by 8pm. Challenge night #2: went well. He fought a little but actually went to bed. 1 book was read and when he asked for a repeat I encouraged him to read it to himself. Since he doesn't know how to read yet, we made it a game to make up his own story by looking at the pict...

Self-Care Practices of the Day: Took it easy.  Did not argue or battle with my 3 year old--I chose my battles wisely :) 10 minutes to myself Deep breathing. Soaked my feet in the bathtub,  Shaved my legs and  Washed my hair. Today I had self-doubt and fear creep in. I am afraid that all that is good, all that I have worked for, is too good to be true. What if it gets taken away? What if I fall before I reach the finish line?  WHat if the good life I have disappears? But as I was deep breathing and taking 10 minutes to myself--no talking--just me and my mind. I began to think: the only way my good life would disappear is if I made it disappear. I know that if I relapse, I will have caused my own destruction. All that I have worked for, all that I have gained back will be gone. That is the only thing I have control of. Everything else is not in my hands. I can do the next right thing, but ultimately if things are meant to be, they will be without me h...

I got bombarded with more bubbles today!! Sometimes we need extra help to get by, to be functional, or to return to a normal state. Sometimes we need extra help to get through those dark tunnels. But, when we come out on the other end--we come out stronger, wiser, and more loving of ourselves. Also-a lot more forgiving. Self-Care Practices of the Day: Actually attended counseling today. Took my breaks Stretched, practiced those de-stressor yoga moves Started setting boundaries at work I said No. Self-affirmations! I am enough! Listened to music!  I have been seeing my therapist for a year now. I hadn't shown up for about 3 months because of work, or illnesses and anxiety, mostly social anxiety.  I did not want to return to the highly addictive anti-anxiety medications aka "benzos" which I used to love. I had no idea how addicting they were. So I decided to go to counseling.  When I was in rehab, the heroin withdrawals were bad BUT nothing was wo...

Today was tough.  Mentally tough. Emotionally bleh.  I slept very little. At work by 7am and I must have sent about 100 emails by 10 am. I had a training to implement regarding policy to workers.  46 slides, 1 hour and we only got half way done. I felt like a shitty lead but mostly because I didn't plan well, keep track of time and I could not answer 2 questions. I know I am not a shitty lead, I am one of the best but its funny how lack of sleep can make it easier for negative thoughts, negative talk and self doubt creep into my daily routine. I broke a promise made to myself of taking a mental health day when I lack sleep because I tend to get emotional. Anyway, I just thought about all the upcoming changes in my life and how I need to be saving time. When I reached out to a teammate about the unanswered questions, I disclosed to him that I felt like a shitty lead. He laughed and stated that tends to happen--it is normal. I laughed as well and we made some more jokes...

Today is the first day of my new life, a new project of creation and innovation. The most basic and most important thing of this new life is to express myself through couture and art. I am DNA. Its short for a longer name, a complex persona that I have finally fallen in love with. What you (the viewer) will see on this blog, what I can promise you is originality through the eyes of individuals that strive to liberate their minds and dare to cross the lines of art, couture fashion, and revolt to create a life that is non stop, one big blur of nothing and everything at once. You chose what you want to create and you can chose to be created. Welcome to my blog. Its time to mix the new with the old, the trash with the sacred, the bold with the weak, and the sin of innocence with the purity of wickedness. Let the fun times begin.