Today was a day of moving. May the fourth be with you.
Went to a "Build your own Lego Man" birthday party and then to an after party bounce house. To the park for a play date with my sponsor's grandson-I think it is amazing and challenging to see two 3 year old toddlers socialize ❤️ and then back to their house to continue playing. Needless to say--we didn't eat very healthy (jajaja), basically sugar on top of sugar with some water.
This may not seem like a big deal to most people; however I have A LOT of social anxiety. Small gatherings I can do. Big gatherings or gatherings with people I don't really know--I avoid.
Being more open about it with my friends and co-workers has actually helped. They understand when I "flake" on an event. But they also really really support and encourage me to attend. With a happy-go-lucky social kid, I don't really have a choice. I DON'T want him to be like me or his father--nervous and anxious around people.
So I take deep breaths and jump in. And my friends jump in with me or already there waiting for me.
Side note: To help with my anxiety & trust issues and to learn how to "socialize" and be a real friend--my sponsor has given me the hardest assignment ever:
I count meeting with her a date but she doesn't. I've followed through with success twice in the last 6 months. I admit, just those two times helped tremendously. It was awkward and uncomfortable at times but by the end of the date, I learned. I also felt proud about facing my monsters and saying "fuck you anxiety and fuck you fears of rejection and fuck you self-hate"
I think writing about it will help me stay accountable.
Self-care practices of the day:
These aren't the best practices--I'm not striving for perfection, just trying to make some progress. Maybe with some time and practice, my self care techniques will get better. I just think that at this moment in my life, I need to put into practice little self-care techniques through out my day. As they are needed.
My goal is to implement them like the 20-20-20 eye rule (every 20 minutes look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds) that is meant to prevent eye strain but without the time constraint.
I want it to become second nature. Me first. It sounds selfish but in order for me to keep giving and helping and succeeding in my professional career--I need me to become a priority.
I need to save myself first--put that oxygen mask first--even before I put it on my child.
TO SUMMARIZE, I have two goals that this blog will help me accomplish by staying accountable:
Follow through with setting up dates once a month with friends (females).
Practice implementing Self-Care techniques through out the day until it becomes second nature or like the autonomous nervous system.
La DNA.
Went to a "Build your own Lego Man" birthday party and then to an after party bounce house. To the park for a play date with my sponsor's grandson-I think it is amazing and challenging to see two 3 year old toddlers socialize ❤️ and then back to their house to continue playing. Needless to say--we didn't eat very healthy (jajaja), basically sugar on top of sugar with some water.
This may not seem like a big deal to most people; however I have A LOT of social anxiety. Small gatherings I can do. Big gatherings or gatherings with people I don't really know--I avoid.
Being more open about it with my friends and co-workers has actually helped. They understand when I "flake" on an event. But they also really really support and encourage me to attend. With a happy-go-lucky social kid, I don't really have a choice. I DON'T want him to be like me or his father--nervous and anxious around people.
So I take deep breaths and jump in. And my friends jump in with me or already there waiting for me.
Side note: To help with my anxiety & trust issues and to learn how to "socialize" and be a real friend--my sponsor has given me the hardest assignment ever:
- Once a month make a date with a friend (women) and do something without my kiddo or his father.
I count meeting with her a date but she doesn't. I've followed through with success twice in the last 6 months. I admit, just those two times helped tremendously. It was awkward and uncomfortable at times but by the end of the date, I learned. I also felt proud about facing my monsters and saying "fuck you anxiety and fuck you fears of rejection and fuck you self-hate"
I think writing about it will help me stay accountable.
- With the start of the month I have another chance. I will make a date with a friend before the end of May.
Self-care practices of the day:
- Saturday--7 am--Took a longer than normal shower--alone! Benefits of getting up earlier. Mentally and emotionally prepped myself for the day.
- Saturday--8 pm--Finally sat down at an AA meeting--alone! Kiddo's dad picked him up from the meeting at 7:50 pm (awesome planning--not being sarcastic). I had 1.5 hours to listen, debrief, and gain some guidance.
- Saturday 10 pm--Got home. Lavender facial and hot towel on the eyes.
These aren't the best practices--I'm not striving for perfection, just trying to make some progress. Maybe with some time and practice, my self care techniques will get better. I just think that at this moment in my life, I need to put into practice little self-care techniques through out my day. As they are needed.
My goal is to implement them like the 20-20-20 eye rule (every 20 minutes look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds) that is meant to prevent eye strain but without the time constraint.
I want it to become second nature. Me first. It sounds selfish but in order for me to keep giving and helping and succeeding in my professional career--I need me to become a priority.
I need to save myself first--put that oxygen mask first--even before I put it on my child.
TO SUMMARIZE, I have two goals that this blog will help me accomplish by staying accountable:
Follow through with setting up dates once a month with friends (females).
Practice implementing Self-Care techniques through out the day until it becomes second nature or like the autonomous nervous system.
La DNA.
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