Healing History

First Friday of the month at a local government agency can be challenging. Especially when the team is covering for a co-worker that will be out for the next 3 months due to mental health issues. She did not practice self-care. She normally carries a "specialized" case load that involves women and men currently residing in an alcohol and drug facility with at least one child. For many years she was the only worker who worked with this "specialized caseload". I knew she was struggling. It was common knowledge in the office; however sometimes the social service field can jade and numb many of the workers' ability to acknowledge each others struggles. Perhaps because they are dealing with every one's trauma while dealing with their own secondary trauma if not their own trauma. So instead of healthy self-care techniques; she picked up smoking. Fell behind on cases, paperwork was not tracked correctly and families went without the support they should have received. This happened for months. Her anxiety, depression and ADD got out of control. Her family left her. Her team turned their backs on her. She was left alone. I helped encourage her to look into counseling for herself and children. To talk to her doctor. She did as a last resort. Her doctor immediately put her on a 3 month medical leave.
Which left the team to clear up all the mess. The past deadlines. The errors. The angry families. And the quite families that are too scared or embarrassed of their current situation to call and ask about the services they were entitled to when they came into our office for help. Unfortunately, the team was not in the "mood" to be patient and understanding. To have some empathy. I think those days are long gone for her based on the general attitude and feelings of frustration that many of the team members expressed at our 9 am "huddle". All I can think is "What a great way to start the day team" (sarcasm). This is also frustrating to me. But whatever. I have learned to pick my battles and let it go.

I lost my BFF at work today. She has moved on to bigger and better things. But I'm excited for her. I wish her all the good luck in this world--but she don't need it. She is a BAD ASS.

So...

Self-care methods put into practice today:

1. A day of deep breathing for me. 
2. Laughter with my BFF. Lots of it before she leaves for her new job.
3.  Green Tea and Matcha latte (blended) for me and the BFF. 
4. Took it easy, focused on "One thing at a time"
5. Focused on the good deeds I was able to do (Reflection). Made a note of what I can do better.
6. When I got home, I watered the back yard and front yard. I sprayed my kid and his dad-hah! I could not help it--it was the perfect opportunity!  
7. Filled the kid pool with water for Chucho (the giant pup). 

Also--I got to see my kiddo at lunch. That was a BONUS and it made this Friday a whole lot easier.

In the end, I don't want to end up taking a 3 month medical leave due to mental health issues caused by work related problems or problems with roots that stem from work into my health. I like my job. I love helping people. But I don't want to loose myself. I don't want to loose my life. I don't want to loose my compassion doing what I love. It is not fair to the families, my coworkers, my family and it is not fair to me.

La DNA.