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Time travel & Hope


Self-Care Practices of the Day:
  1. Took it easy. 
  2. Did not argue or battle with my 3 year old--I chose my battles wisely :)
  3. 10 minutes to myself
  4. Deep breathing.
  5. Soaked my feet in the bathtub, 
  6. Shaved my legs and 
  7. Washed my hair.
Today I had self-doubt and fear creep in. I am afraid that all that is good, all that I have worked for, is too good to be true. What if it gets taken away? What if I fall before I reach the finish line? 
WHat if the good life I have disappears?

 But as I was deep breathing and taking 10 minutes to myself--no talking--just me and my mind. I began to think: the only way my good life would disappear is if I made it disappear. I know that if I relapse, I will have caused my own destruction. All that I have worked for, all that I have gained back will be gone. That is the only thing I have control of. Everything else is not in my hands. I can do the next right thing, but ultimately if things are meant to be, they will be without me having to manipulate every character that comes across my life. 
School--if I can't afford it, yes I will be devastated but it will not be the end of my world. Only my god and I can end my world.  All I can do is breathe, say a little prayer, and reach out when I am getting too into my head. 

 I pray that it will all work out. I have faith. In my head I can time travel into my future, come back to the present and plan my next steps but what I want may not necessarily be what I need. Life has had a funny way of teaching me that lesson. I thought I wanted to be a child psychiatrist but life led me on a different path. Now I just hope that my adventure in finding myself and reaching my goals is not as painful and rough as it was in the past. 

 Side note: Humans are the only species that can "time travel" into the future and plan their life based on what they can see. This is also known as hope. 

 The Milly and Grace Girls —
La DNA.
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