Skip to main content

Time travel & Hope


Self-Care Practices of the Day:
  1. Took it easy. 
  2. Did not argue or battle with my 3 year old--I chose my battles wisely :)
  3. 10 minutes to myself
  4. Deep breathing.
  5. Soaked my feet in the bathtub, 
  6. Shaved my legs and 
  7. Washed my hair.
Today I had self-doubt and fear creep in. I am afraid that all that is good, all that I have worked for, is too good to be true. What if it gets taken away? What if I fall before I reach the finish line? 
WHat if the good life I have disappears?

 But as I was deep breathing and taking 10 minutes to myself--no talking--just me and my mind. I began to think: the only way my good life would disappear is if I made it disappear. I know that if I relapse, I will have caused my own destruction. All that I have worked for, all that I have gained back will be gone. That is the only thing I have control of. Everything else is not in my hands. I can do the next right thing, but ultimately if things are meant to be, they will be without me having to manipulate every character that comes across my life. 
School--if I can't afford it, yes I will be devastated but it will not be the end of my world. Only my god and I can end my world.  All I can do is breathe, say a little prayer, and reach out when I am getting too into my head. 

 I pray that it will all work out. I have faith. In my head I can time travel into my future, come back to the present and plan my next steps but what I want may not necessarily be what I need. Life has had a funny way of teaching me that lesson. I thought I wanted to be a child psychiatrist but life led me on a different path. Now I just hope that my adventure in finding myself and reaching my goals is not as painful and rough as it was in the past. 

 Side note: Humans are the only species that can "time travel" into the future and plan their life based on what they can see. This is also known as hope. 

 The Milly and Grace Girls —
La DNA.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Today was a day of moving. May the fourth be with you. Went to a "Build your own Lego Man" birthday party and then to an after party bounce house. To the park for a play date with my sponsor's grandson-I think it is amazing and challenging to see two 3 year old toddlers socialize ❤️ and then back to their house to continue playing. Needless to say--we didn't eat very healthy (jajaja), basically sugar on top of sugar with some water. This may not seem like a big deal to most people; however I have A LOT of social anxiety. Small gatherings I can do. Big gatherings or gatherings with people I don't really know--I avoid. Being more open about it with my friends and co-workers has actually helped. They understand when I "flake" on an event. But they also really really support and encourage me to attend. With a happy-go-lucky social kid, I don't really have a choice. I DON'T want him to be like me or his father--nervous and anxious around people. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Healing History

Yesterday, May 10th was Mother's Day for many Latinos. I get to celebrate this day twice for my sisters, mom, cousins etc. That's one of the many benefits to being bicultural--you get to celebrate multiple holidays. It was a special Self-Care Day.  Self Care Practices: Graceful--apologize and accept apologies Breathe Back/neck alignment and massage Drums Dancing So May 10th--pretty awesome and easy day. After kicking ass at work for four hours; I left early for a chiropractor appointment followed by deep tissue massage.  I was home by 2:30pm with no Chucho, child nor big child in the house. Just a kitty that leaves me alone unless its dinner time.  I rested. Took my CBD oil and the relaxation continued. Eventually the boys came home, we got ready for dinner and I was taken out on a sushi date with my favorite human beings.  The surprise--Mother's Day Powow!  My little one wanted to dance but backed out because he had no "dress" so I told him I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Self-Affirmation kind of Day

Well yesterday we went on a quick trip to the river which then turned into a hike to the river. We found an awesome spot where I collected river rocks for the aesthetic eco-friendly look that I am trying to create in my backyard. My ZEN Zone. Who knew picking up rocks would be such a rewarding work out. Which then energized me to wake up at 430am. Stretch. Greet the rising sun with some semi-fancy yoga moves--I practiced my breathing skills BUT who knew breathing could be so hard to control when you are aware of your horrible breathing patterns?? lol. I felt like I couldn't suck more air in through my lungs and into my belly...something was not working right. The important thing is that I tried, I fumbled through my Yoga/stretch routine. Felt good. Which then prepared me for: The first day at work without my partner in crime. I missed her. A lot. But I survived. I kept to myself. Worked through the emotions which cannot be healthy but I did not want to put on a fake smile or...
Post a Comment
Read more